So far in this blog I have been talking about what I am doing not how I am doing. So let's shift gears, or more likely in the case of my mental malfunctions grind those gears into fine shavings in the oil pan, and talk about how I am doing so far.
I have gotten pretty bored at a few points. When one can simply click on a video on Youtube, go to a blog, find a LolCat, read a comic, or well...watch porn and fap, boredom can be easily handled. Just click away and time is killed mercilessly. I'm glad that my roommate actually has a hard and fast rule about smoking in the house; that rule obviously being no smoking unless there is a minor monsoon outside, to which she will dart out in the rain to the garage to smoke, or even light up in the door and blow the smoke outside. It's a good rule because if you have ever known a hard core computer user with a smoking habit, you have also seen the ashtray on their desk that resembles the ruins of Dresden in 1945. Smoking for me now is a way of breaking the monotony of the internet. A chance to get up and get away and blink for the first time in about an hour and a half. This has actually helped train me to smoke less as it becomes a hassle to time getting up to smoke and raiding in games. Now I am completely aware of my smoking habits as it becomes a conscious decision to get up to smoke. A few times so far when my roommates have decided to go smoke, I didn't want to because I wasn't bored or wanted a lull in the show we were watching.
There is one slight drawback to all of this. Its part of what made me take on this endeavor, loneliness. I won't lie about the fact that I am absolutely terrible at meeting potential romantic partners. I never know when I am being flirted with, know when to say what, and when to know its a dead end when I do try. Part of my habit has been to constantly have a browser tab constantly open to www.okcupid.com, which is a free dating site for Gen X/Y types. I'm always scanning for new potential mates (slim pickings here in the OKC), trying to initiate chat, checking out who's viewed me.
You know you can tell when something you do is pathetic and makes you a looser? When you know its pathetic and makes you a looser.
Yep, I said it, sorry for no niceities. Pinning all your hopes that an online dating site will solve your loneliness or end your sexual drought is pathetic. At this point I don't know if the sense of disconnect and anxiety is coming from the loss of habit of checking the site, or anxiety of not potentially meeting people. This weekend I may suck up the financial cost of going to the bar and the thirty minute drive into the city to go to the ones I like. Meeting people at the bar is usually a lousy proposition in and of itself, but the prospectus of actually meeting someone even if it is merely for a conversation is better than playing GTA:IV for another night.
That so far is the low point, the whole curled up in a ball weeping in the bathtub loneliness thing. So far though, I am feeling a bit less anxiety about other things. I haven't heard a damn thing about Justin Beiber (Bieber? How do you spell that name?) or Charlie Sheen in five days. I honestly could give a rat's ass about the guy, and his whole saga was winding down in that usual cultural ADD way we have in America before my fast, but I haven't heard a damn thing about him, his show, WINNING, tigers blood, or Goddesses and I'm ok with that. I never watched his show, Platoon was a good move but its like 30 years old almost, other than that..Meh. I'm glad I don't even have to glace across it outside of the tabloids at the checkout counter.
As for Beiber (fuck it, my cursory grasp of grammatical rules tells me that is the right spelling), I'm not glad I'm avoiding him, I'm glad I'm missing all the people who hate him. The only reason I know anything about the kid, is because of all the amazing vitriol you find on the internet about him. Apparently if you read the comments about him, see the photoshopped pictures, or read the lousy jokes; Justin is apparently a woman or gay, like to perform fellatio on black men, has no talent at all, is personally responsible for the collapse of American music, and apparently looks like a woman.
Let me go ahead and say this; If you spend hours of your life raging about a 16 year old pop musician, you go hunting for the perfect picture of him so you can photoshop a penis pointed toward his mouth, or you crack the one hundred millionth joke about his slightly feminine appearance, you are a pathetic human being who is wasting their life. No really, you are. Trust me, I'm an expert on wasted life and potential, and raging about Beiber is so full of wasted opportunity it lives in a cardboard box in the subway. Beiber is just another pop star just like the hundreds that came before him, and will come after him. He has actual talent that the majority don't have with playing the drums and a decent singing voice. And guess what...that joke about him looking like a lesbian woman? Yep, about as creative and original now as a knock-knock joke, especially now that he rips on himself about it! You guys realize that everything I know about Justin Beiber comes from people complaining about him? If I didn't have to wade through 40 doctored photos a day, or listen to your tirade about how he has ruined rock music, or is the indicator of whats wrong with the music industry, I wouldn't know what his voice sounds like, what he looks like, or anything about him. Before I knew who he was, I thought he was just another mediocre musician that I would give 5 seconds consideration on my radio for. Your complaining about him only increases his fame.
Now that I'm off the internet for a month, I don't have to deal with the hate machine or the TMZ'ification of my life. I chose a long time ago to ignore daytime television for its kiddie pool depth, now I am giving serious consideration to figuring out how to develop a browser extension that will block any mention of Justin Beiber from appearing as a link.
I have gotten pretty bored at a few points. When one can simply click on a video on Youtube, go to a blog, find a LolCat, read a comic, or well...watch porn and fap, boredom can be easily handled. Just click away and time is killed mercilessly. I'm glad that my roommate actually has a hard and fast rule about smoking in the house; that rule obviously being no smoking unless there is a minor monsoon outside, to which she will dart out in the rain to the garage to smoke, or even light up in the door and blow the smoke outside. It's a good rule because if you have ever known a hard core computer user with a smoking habit, you have also seen the ashtray on their desk that resembles the ruins of Dresden in 1945. Smoking for me now is a way of breaking the monotony of the internet. A chance to get up and get away and blink for the first time in about an hour and a half. This has actually helped train me to smoke less as it becomes a hassle to time getting up to smoke and raiding in games. Now I am completely aware of my smoking habits as it becomes a conscious decision to get up to smoke. A few times so far when my roommates have decided to go smoke, I didn't want to because I wasn't bored or wanted a lull in the show we were watching.
There is one slight drawback to all of this. Its part of what made me take on this endeavor, loneliness. I won't lie about the fact that I am absolutely terrible at meeting potential romantic partners. I never know when I am being flirted with, know when to say what, and when to know its a dead end when I do try. Part of my habit has been to constantly have a browser tab constantly open to www.okcupid.com, which is a free dating site for Gen X/Y types. I'm always scanning for new potential mates (slim pickings here in the OKC), trying to initiate chat, checking out who's viewed me.
You know you can tell when something you do is pathetic and makes you a looser? When you know its pathetic and makes you a looser.
Yep, I said it, sorry for no niceities. Pinning all your hopes that an online dating site will solve your loneliness or end your sexual drought is pathetic. At this point I don't know if the sense of disconnect and anxiety is coming from the loss of habit of checking the site, or anxiety of not potentially meeting people. This weekend I may suck up the financial cost of going to the bar and the thirty minute drive into the city to go to the ones I like. Meeting people at the bar is usually a lousy proposition in and of itself, but the prospectus of actually meeting someone even if it is merely for a conversation is better than playing GTA:IV for another night.
That so far is the low point, the whole curled up in a ball weeping in the bathtub loneliness thing. So far though, I am feeling a bit less anxiety about other things. I haven't heard a damn thing about Justin Beiber (Bieber? How do you spell that name?) or Charlie Sheen in five days. I honestly could give a rat's ass about the guy, and his whole saga was winding down in that usual cultural ADD way we have in America before my fast, but I haven't heard a damn thing about him, his show, WINNING, tigers blood, or Goddesses and I'm ok with that. I never watched his show, Platoon was a good move but its like 30 years old almost, other than that..Meh. I'm glad I don't even have to glace across it outside of the tabloids at the checkout counter.
As for Beiber (fuck it, my cursory grasp of grammatical rules tells me that is the right spelling), I'm not glad I'm avoiding him, I'm glad I'm missing all the people who hate him. The only reason I know anything about the kid, is because of all the amazing vitriol you find on the internet about him. Apparently if you read the comments about him, see the photoshopped pictures, or read the lousy jokes; Justin is apparently a woman or gay, like to perform fellatio on black men, has no talent at all, is personally responsible for the collapse of American music, and apparently looks like a woman.
Let me go ahead and say this; If you spend hours of your life raging about a 16 year old pop musician, you go hunting for the perfect picture of him so you can photoshop a penis pointed toward his mouth, or you crack the one hundred millionth joke about his slightly feminine appearance, you are a pathetic human being who is wasting their life. No really, you are. Trust me, I'm an expert on wasted life and potential, and raging about Beiber is so full of wasted opportunity it lives in a cardboard box in the subway. Beiber is just another pop star just like the hundreds that came before him, and will come after him. He has actual talent that the majority don't have with playing the drums and a decent singing voice. And guess what...that joke about him looking like a lesbian woman? Yep, about as creative and original now as a knock-knock joke, especially now that he rips on himself about it! You guys realize that everything I know about Justin Beiber comes from people complaining about him? If I didn't have to wade through 40 doctored photos a day, or listen to your tirade about how he has ruined rock music, or is the indicator of whats wrong with the music industry, I wouldn't know what his voice sounds like, what he looks like, or anything about him. Before I knew who he was, I thought he was just another mediocre musician that I would give 5 seconds consideration on my radio for. Your complaining about him only increases his fame.
Now that I'm off the internet for a month, I don't have to deal with the hate machine or the TMZ'ification of my life. I chose a long time ago to ignore daytime television for its kiddie pool depth, now I am giving serious consideration to figuring out how to develop a browser extension that will block any mention of Justin Beiber from appearing as a link.
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